I got a letter from the Conservatives

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My old friend is offering me a job, no 2 jobs!

It’s from my old friend Dimitri Soudas who is Executive Director of the Conservative Party of Canada.

He used to be Stephen Harper’s Director of Communications until Harper sent him off to work on the Sochi Olympics but now Harper needs him back because there’s a general election coming.

The letter is an e-mail that reads like a television ad. It’s been sent to thousands of Canadians, even journalists.

Mr. Soudas is a guy I’ve known a long time. He is offering me a job, even two jobs. The Conservatives must be desperate to write to journalists.

The first job is that of ' Finance Director ' of the Conservative Party. It does not say what’s involved, what’s expected, or how much it pays.  I have a good idea that it must pay well. Conservatives pick up about 18 million dollars a year from their donors. They will need someone who can count.  For 18 million dollars, I can count.

The second job is that of ' Director of Human Resources.’ Bruce Carson used to be good at human resources, well at least, the human part. He might be a good choice. .

The Soudas letter is polite. It starts:

"Dear Friends:

"Have you ever thought about a career in politics? »

(You've already guessed my answer, dear reader.)

"Do you want to help the Conservatives win the next election? "

(Huh, what do you think?)

"If your answer is yes! Please send your curriculum vitae or recommend someone as quickly as possible. "

(Ah well, I can help you, Mr. Soudas. I have some people in mind. For the ‘Director of Finance' I recommend my old friend, Senator Mike Duffy. He’s not doing anything much these days. And he does know money, yours and mine.

He’s almost gone through the $ 92,000 you guys gave him and he needs a bit more. At least you could pay his legal fees. )

As for the ' Director of Human Resources ' my best suggestion for someone who knows "human resources" is a man named Pierre Poutine who knows tens of thousands of people across the country, at least Elections Canada says he’s sent them sound recordings of where they should vote across Canada.

We could have a little problem with the word «human «in his case. Are sound recordings considered “human?” The only address the RCMP has for him is a 'Pierre Poutine, Separatist Street, Joliette, Quebec' – It might be a little difficult to find.

But if you do find him don’t give it to the RCMP or to Elections Canada.

Your email Mr. Soudas, ends telling me that I can choose between the "strong and stable leadership of Stephen Harper and the lack of judgment of Justin Trudeau.”

(Talk about a choice.)

(Is Thomas Mulcair not a third choice, or did you already do him in?)

I note that your return address is: careers@conservative.ca.

It is in English. I guess I can handle English too.

Richard Cleroux, Press Gallery, Ottawa

Oops Press Gallery, Ottawa

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