CORNWALL, Ontario – With Christmas just days away, people are speaking about gifts. Two years ago Josip Kupina gave his family the greatest gift of all – a new father and husband.
After decades of drinking and abuse, Kupina was able to put down the bottle at age 72 and enjoyed 16 months of sobriety before, tragically, he succumbed to an aggressive form of late-stage cancer.
The years of drinking had shattered his life, and fractured his family.
But those 16 months of sobriety allowed his family to heal, and gave them back a person they never really knew until the end.
“He was really counting his blessing right up until his death,” said his son Joe, a teacher in Cornwall. “One of the fears is that he would kill someone while driving, or kill himself while driving. I think he just felt so blessed to get through that and be sober and be in the love of his family.”
Josip lived in Hamilton, but was born in Croatia. His drinking began at a young age, in a place where alcohol is as readily available as water.
His drinking pushed his family away in many cases, but a decision in 2013 while visiting Joe in Cornwall, helped Josip return to a world of clarity.
“It was pretty clear once he got here he was sick and going through withdrawal,” said Joe, adding his dad hadn’t even made it 24 hours without a drink before he started to suffer from shakes and nausea. “In less than 24 hours he was showing severe signs.”
Josip was taken to the hospital, where Joe was bracing himself for judgment, but instead found compassion.
“We approached him and said he should go to the hospital. His heart rate was really high and he was vomiting and shaking. And he agreed immediately. He didn’t put up a fight,” said Joe. “They were amazing. I was a little bit afraid you would get judged at the front desk, but they were fantastic. The nurse in triage told him ‘I can see you’re suffering and we’re going to help you out here.’
“He was saying things along the lines of, I’ve got to change. He was saying the right things and the next morning I was kind of poking around asking ‘Is there a program?’ I spoke to a nurse who is the intake worker from that program.
“My dad said ‘I want to give it a shot.'”
What followed was a three-week program that Josip, incredibly, jumped into with both feet. He followed it up with membership in Alcoholics Anonymous in Hamilton when he returned home, as well as other social supports. For the first time in his life he had a purpose other than getting drunk.
In a video shot by the Cornwall Community Hospital Foundation, Josip gives a frank, almost haunting account of his life in a bottle.
“In my drunken life I know I did a lot of damage to my kids and to my wife,” he said. “Alcohol – what it does to you it destroys you. It makes you cheat and it makes you lie. It makes everything worse that could possibly happen.
“The gift that I received in Cornwall…it’s priceless.
“I didn’t see it before that somebody would worry about my dignity…I am entitled to that dignity. No one can take that away.”
Sadly, his life ended just 16 months after he finally put the bottle down. Josip took his last drink in October 2013, and breathed his last breath in March of 2015.
His family will tell you that those 16 months were amazing.
“We had him as him, not his alcoholic self,” said Joe. “I understood when he broke the news to us (about the cancer), I understood where he was coming from. We’re a Catholic family and we have faith there is something beyond this life and he felt this was God’s plan.
“To have him sober was absolutely incredible for me, my mom and my siblings.”
Joe and his family keep a special place in their hearts for the team at the Cornwall Community Hospital that helped Josip exactly when he needed it.
“I was happy we were going, and even accepting I might get judged. But I knew we had to go,” he said. “It was comforting to know at the other end, the way we were received, was not with judgment but with compassion.
“They were clearly professionals. They didn’t talk down to him…they made it clear that ultimately he was responsible. Through what he learned in the program he had to make some good decisions if this was going to stick.
“From what I have learned, it’s up to the individual to take that first step, but it’s beautiful to know there is support available…like services at the CCH. Because when he was ready that program was exactly what he needed when he needed it.
“It was a perfect fit. Once you make that decision, that’s one thing, but then what? And that program was there filling all those gaps and answering all those questions.”
The hospital is in the midst of a construction project that will see a new addictions and mental health hub created at its sprawling campus on McConnell Avenue.
The $9.3-million project includes a new building on the former paramedic headquarters north of the hospital on McConnell Avenue.
A fundraising campaign has already begun, with the Cornwall Community Hospital Foundation providing $1.2 million towards the end goal.
