Stress of Parenting

Being a parent can be one of life's most joyful and rewarding experiences, but there are times in everyone's life when the demands and hassles of daily living cause stress. The additional stress of caring for children can, at times, make parents feel angry, anxious, or just plain "stressed out". These tensions are a normal, inevitable part of family life, and parents need to learn ways to cope so that they don't feel overwhelmed by them.

How can you cope?

Coping with the stress of parenting starts with understanding what makes you feel stressed, learning to recognize the symptoms of too much stress, and learning some new ways of handling life's problems. You may not always be able to tell exactly what is causing your emotional tension, but it is important to remind yourself that it is not your children's fault. We all have reactions to life's events which are based on our own personal histories. For the most part, we never completely understand the deep-down causes of all our feelings. What we must realize is that our feelings of stress come from inside ourselves and that we can learn to keep our stress reactions under control. Here are some tips which can help: • Make time for yourself. Reserve time each week for your own activities. • Take care of your health with a good diet and regular exercise. Parents need a lot of energy to look after children. • Avoid fatigue. Go to bed earlier and take short naps when you can. • Take a break from looking after the children. Help keep stress from building up. Ask for help from friends or relatives to take care of the children for a while. Exchange babysitting services with a neighbour, or hire a teenager, even for a short time once a week to get some time for yourself. • Look for community programs for parents and children. They offer activities that are fun, other parents to talk with, and some even have babysitting. • Talk to someone. Sharing your worries is a great stress reducer! • Look for parenting courses and groups in your community. • Learn some ways of unwinding to manage the tension. Simple daily stretching exercises help relieve muscle tension. Vigorous walking, aerobics or sports are excellent ways for some people to unwind and work off tension; others find deep-breathing exercises are a fast, easy and effective way to control physical and mental tension. • If you're feeling pressured, tense or drawn out at the end of a busy day, say so. Tell your children calmly that you will be happy to give them some attention soon but first you need a short "quiet time" so that you can relax. • Practice time management. Set aside time to spend with the children, time for yourself, and time for your spouse and/or friends. Learn to say "no" to requests that interfere with these important times. Cut down on outside activities that cause the family to feel rushed.

Develop good relationships

Family relationships are built over time with loving care and concern for other people's feelings. Talk over family problems in a warm, relaxed atmosphere. Focus on solutions rather than finding blame. If you are too busy or upset to listen well at a certain time, say so. Then agree on a better time, and make sure to do it. Laugh together, be appreciative of each other, and give compliments often. It may be very hard to schedule time to spend with your family, doing things that you all enjoy, but it is the best time you will ever invest.

This article provides general information only. The information provided is not a substitute for professional advice. If you feel that you may need advice, please consult a qualified health care professional. For further information please visit our web site at www.cmha-east.on.ca.