The admonition, “THE END IS NEAR” has been prematurely proclaimed many times. The Mayan calendar, Scripture, late night AM radio programming and numerous street corner evangelists have all predicted it. However, as of press time, none of those many ends have yet arrived, even though we have been warned they are near.
Only a true Canadian would understand the double dose of humour of the response to that proclamation: “The end is near, but 30-minutes nearer in Newfoundland – and Labrador!” Canada is virtually unique in having a half-hour demi time zone and that we can’t say just ‘Newfoundland’. We must say ‘Newfoundland AND Labrador’, as if they were Siamese twins joined at the head. Thus, no airliner can crash just in Newfoundland. It must crash in Newfoundland AND Labrador – as if by a 100 kilometer ricochet across the Strait of Belle-Isle.
What’s my personal belief about end times? Matthew 25: 13.
However, I recently came across something new about nearness: “THE BEGINNING IS NEAR” scrawled on the stuccoed wall of a downtown Cornwall building. I was intrigued. “The beginning of what is near?” I asked myself.
I’ve come up with a few possible answers. The first that came to mind was, “The beginning of the new Cornwall low-level bridge is near”. It’s beginning (at the foot of Brookdale Avenue) is about 2760 meters to the southwest of the Seaway News building as the crow flies. However, if you’re a crow on foot, it would require a walk of about 2857 meters. If you don’t mind hopping over a few fences, you could do it in about 2801 meters.
The beginning of what else is near?
Since we have passed the autumnal equinox, we can say that the beginning of winter is near.
Maybe the beginning of world peace is near. By now, the ‘Sweet Marie’ terrorists must be beginning to run out of nut bar fundamentalists who are willing to blow up themselves, along with their Hondas, Hyundais, Holdens or Hillmans, along with hundreds of innocent shoppers, school children, strollers and street sweepers.
There’s nothing on YouTube that speaks of the beginning of something is near. If you are privy to what beginning is near, please let me in on it, so I can profit from it, or avoid it, or photograph it, or write about it.