Many people are aware of the phrase “self sabotage”. Self sabotage is a phrase that instantly brings a chuckle to many and a sense of helplessness to how it all works. Why do we do things that we don’t really want to do? How does self sabotage really work? Why are we so powerless to stop the cycle of self sabotage at times?
People generally understand that self sabotage is about setting a positive goal in one’s life and then doing things overtime that sabotage our progress? How does self sabotage actually work in the mind? Why do we say one thing and do another? Why would we set a goal, only to make sure we actually sabotage that goal? Why is it that there’s a part of us that works against our best interests? How is all this even possible? What part of the mind is responsible for our self sabotaging actions and thoughts? Is there a way out? Is there a solution?
Why do we eat poorly when we want to lose weight? Why do we pick the same sort of romantic partners when we swear next time we’ll make smarter decisions? We do we lie at times when we know lying is wrong and can never provide us any long term positive outcomes? Why do we stay at a job we don’t like when we could make baby steps toward the life we really want? Why do we find ourselves complaining to our friends about the exact same problems instead of doing something about solving those problems? Why do we go for instant gratification and place what we really want on the back burner, over and over again? Why do we stay quiet when we really need to speak up? Why does a smoker, who has cancer, keep smoking? Why do we say we have no time for reading or building our best life when we watch hours of TV each night? Why does someone, who’s in debt, keep spending? Why does a shopaholic buy more clothes when they could never possibly wear all the clothes they already own? Why do millions of people take medications that list the ways they will make us them ill, while at the same time believing the side effect laden drugs will magically make them better? Why do 90% of lotto winners lose all their winnings after 1 year? What’s going on?
Are there different answers to all these questions? Do people need to work on each problem separately because that would take some time? Fortunately there’s one solution for all these issues and when you learn how to address self sabotage in one area of your life, you’ll be able to move ahead in all areas simultaneously.
The first step to helping resolve self sabotaging behaviour is to understand there’s nothing wrong with you because you do it. It’s not your fault.
Self sabotage is based on fear and how that fear leads to disconnection from how we “feel” our way through life. Fear has a large impact on how the mind works and how the mind actually develops. Fear in childhood has the largest impact. The way our society is designed, you’re not likely going to avoid the fear proven to trigger self sabotaging behaviour. If you want to live successfully with your inner saboteur you’ll need to be brave enough to look into the past and be honest with yourself.
In the next article I will explain more on the subject of self sabotage.