The holiday season is an important time to gather with family, share a meal and enjoy the blessings in our lives. While we always hope that the holidays will be a season of warm togetherness for our family, the reality too often falls short of that. Many families experience tension, conflict, and unresolved disputes because family dynamics can be complex, and gatherings can be stressful rather than joyous. Fortunately, the Bible offers strong guidance for addressing and resolving conflicts. God’s Word is a wellspring of wisdom that speaks to the heart of human relationships. Here are some great ideas:
1. Seek Peace and Pursue It: In the Bible Psalm 34, verse 14 says: “Turn from wrong and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” This principle is vital in resolving family conflicts since peace doesn’t happen by accident. Often, conflicts within families are allowed to fester because people avoid addressing underlying issues or hope that time will naturally heal the wounds. However, this verse encourages intentionality, to actively chase after peace—which requires humility, patience, and effort.
2. Be Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak, and Slow to Become Angry: This is valuable advice for resolving conflicts, especially in the emotionally charged environment of a family gathering. This verse encourages us to be intentional in our responses, emphasizing the importance of listening carefully, speaking thoughtfully, and controlling our anger. This can help de-escalate tensions and preventing conflicts from spiraling out of control. If the conversation turns to emotionally charged topics, it’s wise to pause before speaking to make sure that our words are constructive rather than destructive.
3. A Gentle Answer Turns Away Anger: Proverbs 15 verse 1 says: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” This highlights a practical and powerful tool for resolving conflicts: using gentle, calm responses. In family settings, emotions can run high and conversations can quickly become heated. “A gentle answer” refers to responding with calm and intentional kindness, even when we’re provoked. It’s tempting to meet anger with anger or criticism with criticism. However, this only adds fuel to the fire. Instead, a soft, measured response can disarm the other person and shift the tone of the conversation from hostility to understanding. Try choosing your words carefully, or responding with empathy rather than defensiveness.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” This important principle for resolving family conflicts is rooted in the power of love. In family relationships, where we often hurt those we love the most, we need to remember this truth: “Love each other deeply.”
Pastor Jim
