If you happen to suffer from a “senior moment” and can’t remember a specific word, here’s a clever way of saving face. Just say, “Sorry, I can’t quite bring to mind the word that’s on the tip of my tongue. That’s because I’m fluent in six languages.” That’ll get you off the hook.
That little gem reminds me of a long-ago time when I was dating Helke, a young German lady (at that time, I was young too). At the end of our pleasant evening, when we were expressing our goodbyes, I gazed at her and whispered softly, “Schön nackt.” She looked at me, rather shocked, then smiled, then said, “Nein, No! ‘Schön nacht’ means ‘good night’, but ‘Schön nackt’ means ‘good naked.'”
Since this week’s topic is the Wehrmacht-Einheitskanister, I’ll try to be more careful with my words, especially German ones. That tongue-twister is the name of what the Allies called a “Jerry can,” a marvellous container made from pressed steel, for transporting 20 litres of liquids, especially fuel and water. It was designed in the1930s by Vinzenz Grünvogel of Schwelm, Germany.
Eventually, the Allies realized their own containers, known as “flimsies,” were as durable as today’s 500 ml. disposable plastic water bottles. Unfortunately, our attempts at replicating the German ones fell quite short of the mark, being easily damaged due to improper placement of welds.
What makes Einheitskanisters so special? They have three handles. The middle one is for carrying one at a time. The two outer ones make it possible to carry two empties at a time, four if you’re ambidextrous, and four full ones if you’re an Arnold Schwarzenegger kind of guy.
A long line of soldiers can pass Einheitskanisters along from one to another by using the outer handles. Efficient and clever!
Today’s liquid jugs have removable, easy to lose, screw caps. The Einheitskanisters have a cam lever release feature with a short spout secured with a snap closure and an air-pipe which allows quick, gurgle-free pouring.
Both sides of the originals featured an “X marks the spot”, indentation that added strength to the containers. So far, all the laurels have been given to the German innovation. Here’s one for the Americans of today. Those who voted for The Donald sure need something positive to be said about their regime. Here it is: American fuel can specialist Pro Quip has introduced a colour coding of its jerry can product line. Olive yellow (for diesel), black (oil), bright blue (chain and bar oil), bottle green (25:1 two stroke mix), grey (50:1 two stroke mix), signal red (unleaded fuel), powder blue (kerosene) and orange (for ethanol). That system would be invaluable in complex, high-stress operations such as forest-fire fighting and military combat logistic chains.
“Whew!” Congratulations on having endured to the end of this detailed piece. I promise: next week’s will be something light.
