There was evidence that something had hit the window of my room at St. Joseph’s Continuing Care Centre. Fortunately, I was elsewhere, in the physiotherapy room.
Dogs of irresponsible owners do leave “messes” behind. I’ve completely eliminated all the Pomeranians, Jack Russells and teacup Poodles that pass by below my second-floor window. They’re too short for their “business” to reach this high.
I assume it was a bird, a big one. I’ll be on the lookout for a crow or gull with a bandaged head, or a bent beak. If it’s an American bald eagle, it’s probably one seeking refugee status from the land that for almost the next four years has a far greater problem than any wildfire, flood or quake. I have pity for any creature or person under the Mar-a-Lago regime.
When it’s too late for the “you know what” to hit the toilet, you’ve got real problems, especially if it happens away from home. How do you clean yourself up? You’ll need a fresh pair of trousers. You’ll probably miss your flight. Your travel companions will be landing at Heathrow, England, but you’ll still be at YOW. As the saying goes, “Sh-t happens!”
When a shot is heard, heads turn. “Was that a car backfiring? A hold-up? Thunder? A gang getting revenge?” When you hear what might be a shot, take cover – especially if you’re south of the border!
If the wind blows the car door shut, the keys had better be in your pocket. Otherwise, you’ll not only get very cold, but you’ll also miss the board meeting, or supper, or your class.
Back to dogs: “I saw that! Your Bull Mastiff just s–t upon my front lawn!” A responsible dog owner always carries a generous supply of plastic baggies to take the collectibles home. Otherwise, he or she will be in deep ‘‘doo-doo’” As Teddy Roosevelt once said something like, “Walk softly, but carry some bags if you don’t want to anger the neighbours.”
When the bird hit my window, St. Joseph CCC maintenance man Joe came to the rescue: removed the screen, cranked open the window, and scrubbed, scrubbed, scrubbed until my view was once again unobstructed.
