Ho! Ho! Ho!

Nick Wolochatiuk ~ Dances With Words
Ho! Ho! Ho!
TINY HOUDINI – He’s a contortionist and makes vast amounts of bird seed disappear. (Photo by Nick Wolochatiuk)


That’s just the sound of Santa practising his Christmas schtick. However, with COVID, the housing shortage and increasing inflation of food and fuel costs, I thought it’s about time I’d share how there are still sources of refreshing doses of mirth, humour, laughter and joy.

Our closest form of happiness is outside our patio door. We call it the ‘bird feeder’. It’s not the jays, juncos and chickadees that quickly empty peanuts, black sunflower seeds and corn from our various feeding stations. These bird foods are dispensed on varied devices hung several feet above the ground to discourage the squirrels (black brown grey and little red ones) and a little chipmunk who compete with each other to get at the foods. They have devised an entertaining variety of acrobatic routines to get at the fare intended for the birds.

I use the Internet as another source of getting my ‘ha-has’ these days. Sites such as ‘Idiots at Work’, ‘Boating Fails’ and ‘Stunt Driving’ get me laughing silly. Unfortunately, if I consider the injuries and damage caused to construction sites, pleasure craft and automobiles, I become saddened.

I visit the shopping plaza parking lots to get some amusement. I watch the seniors park their oversize 2001 Lincoln Continentals and tiny Honda Civics in the specially provided handicap spots. Sometimes their passenger hobbles out to act as a marshal, mimicking the directors that guide the movements on aircraft carriers.

Oops! The driver didn’t quite clear that concrete barrier. Oh! That signpost will have to be straightened. Diagonal parking is okay, but being half-way into the lane isn’t cricket. Maybe the grandkids might be able to convince Grandpa to hang up the car key.

All too often Grandpa treats the end of the 401’s acceleration lane as a place to stop and wait for a break in traffic. The same goes for the white line at the left turn lane at a traffic light-controlled intersection. Grandpa doesn’t realize he should pause near the middle of the intersection to wait for a gap.

When I go home, I finish off my hunt for humour by checking out the lampoons of Putin on the news feeds. The situation in Ukraine is horrific, but how Russia’s monster is being ridiculed is entertaining. His explanation of how his Black Sea flagship wasn’t sunk brings howls of laughter. Footage of Ukrainian farmers towing away crippled Russian tanks for their scrap value is entertaining. One farmer who came across an out of fuel armoured personnel carrier offered to tow it back to Russia. The smirk on his face was as wide as Putin-occhio’s nose is long.


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