There are Ways to Tell Cats from Dogs  

Nick Wolochatiuk - Dances With Words
There are Ways to Tell Cats from Dogs  
NO DRINKING PROBLEM – Our Riley would never go dry. Every time the faucet was turned, he’d launch himself onto the kitchen counter and lap, lap, lap! (Photo : Nick Wolochatiuk)

Even if you never owned a cat, you’d probably be able to recognize that the creature that you saw for the first time wasn’t a dog.

If it’s on a leash, it’s probably a dog.

If you greet it with, “Hi! How are you!” and it replies by doing an imitation of a windshield wiper, it’s a dog. A cat will respond by ignoring you, or hissing at you, or raising its tail to form a question mark.

If it’s half out of the open window of a speeding car, with its tongue hanging out and its ears flapping, that’s a dog. The only time cats go for a ride is to get fixed. (‘get fixed’ means everything is working, so it has to be ‘fixed’).

Dogs vary in size from ankle biters to large enough to be saddled. Domestic cats come in just one size.

If it has prominent whiskers, it’s either Santa Claus, Rip van Winkle, Charlie Chaplin, Groucho Marx – or a cat. Yes, dogs also have whiskers, just as Twiggy has breasts. (FYI: Lesley Hornby’s statistics are 31-23-32, or 29-22-33. I was unable to verify those statistics, as I couldn’t find my tape measure.)

If you say, “Fetch!”, a dog will. A cat’s body language will respond with “Who you talking to? Go fetch yourself!”

Okay, I’ve pulled your leg enough. There have been only two dogs in my life, but there’s also been at least seven cats. Some day I’ll tell you about my feline companions.

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